Our baby girl at 5 weeks! I know I’ve been a bad blogger lately, but with Ellie I jumped right back into work shooting my first wedding just 2.5 weeks after giving birth and so this time around I’m allowing myself some time to really enjoy this newborn phase as it goes by in the blink of an eye. At 7 weeks she outgrew all her newborn clothes and I cried. I try to savor each moment, yet it still flies by. Just this week Emmeline has started trying to converse with me. She looks intently at me and at my mouth and little coos and gurgles come out her mouth and then she smiles and looks all proud of herself afterwards. It’s to. die. for. My little girl melts my heart with every little thing she does.
We’re all still adjusting to being a family of four. When my friends told me that having baby #2 was more than doubly hard than having one I didn’t really understand. Now I do. Poor Ellie has had to adjust to not having all my attention. She adores her baby sister and is constantly kissing and hugging her and wanting to help with everything baby related, but has been acting out with me and Jeff. She’s told me twice to not hold the baby anymore and just today when she acted out, I put her in time out and she bawled her eyes out. While bawling she eventually blurted out between sobs, “Mommy, I MISS you!” And my heart absolutely shattered. I know her acting out is her toddler way of gaining my attention but I’m at a loss on whether to discipline her behavior or ignore it. That was the first time she was able to articulate her feelings about not being my only baby anymore. We’ve done some fun one on one things together like baking and painting, but it obviously hasn’t been enough or perhaps she just needs more time. Regardless, the Mommy guilt is killer.
Ellie is on Spring Break this week and on Monday I took the two kids to the park in the morning after breakfast. Emmeline still doesn’t like being in her infant car seat so I had to hold her in my arms at the park. But then Ellie got stuck climbing the rock wall and I had to rescue her – twice. I had Emmeline in one arm and then grabbed Ellie off the wall with the other. That wasn’t as bad as when Ellie asked to go on the swings. Picking up a 30+ lb toddler in one arm, while holding a newborn in the other, and trying to get the toddler into the swing? Ha, super awkward. But I got her in and pushed her for about 2 minutes until she said she was done. Say what? Girl, did you not just see your Mama struggle to get you in the swing? Getting her out was nearly impossible. For a second I almost contemplated laying my newborn on the ground to free up both hands to lift her out of the swing! But I got her out eventually. Yay me!
I have a bunch of weddings I still need to share. I’m hoping I’ll get a couple of hours tomorrow while Emmeline naps to crank them out. In the mean time I’m really looking forward to the start of this wedding season! Thanks all for your patience and understanding. 🙂